Education  |   January 2012
Final Diagnosis
Author Affiliations & Notes
  • Douglas L. Hester, M.D.
  • *Vanderbilt University Medical Center, Nashville, Tennessee.
Article Information
Education / Central and Peripheral Nervous Systems / Infectious Disease / Pain Medicine / Practice Management / Respiratory System / Advocacy and Legislative Issues
Education   |   January 2012
Final Diagnosis
Anesthesiology 1 2012, Vol.116, 222-223. doi:
Anesthesiology 1 2012, Vol.116, 222-223. doi:
SO it's official, the freezer has a problem. It took six weeks, multiple appliance specialists and too much testing, but they did prove
my ice cream is not cold enough.
I thaw the taciturn repairman in six seconds.
What do you do  , he asks.
I'm a physician  , I say.
They gave me six months to live, but I know I was being killed by the medicines  .
Thirty years later, I can tell you the secret of health is supplements 
  • and energy patterns 
  • and the secret is within us – the patients 
  • and doctors are dangerous  .
I wonder what specialists touched him
  • and what tests were done
  • and how much time he spent without a diagnosis.
I work to reframe the discussion, hoping his discarded drill doesn't mar the granite.
I'm not religious anymore, but the power is within to heal 
  • and the deity is within all of us 
  • and gives us that power to heal 
  • and the deity has forgotten  .
Our minds make us ill, that and food coloring  .
So worldviews collide.
Models of medicine clash in the kitchen.
Health care reform isn't reform, it's refinancing  .
Ending education at 5th grade 
  • and legalizing marijuana and heroin will do more than 
  • this reform 
  • and euthanasia benefits us more than anatomy class  .
I liked anatomy, but tonight I learned the secret. The problem is in the freezer's mind
  • and the freezer is an extension of the deity
  • and the deity has forgotten
  • about my ice cream.